You never know what language we speak.

shellslife89:

Recently I caused a minor upset for a certain French shop assistant when she was bitching about foreigners speaking English and I whipped out my fluent French. It was a jaw dropping experience for her!

Originally posted on Travel Opens the Mind:

While on a trip to a UNESCO world heritage site in France with my family. We wandered into a shop speaking amongst ourselves about the lovely souvenirs etc on sale. I overheard shop assistants talking amongst themselves about another customer who I believe was Dutch not being able to speak a word of French or English. In the meantime my mother had asked in English if she could have a look at a piece of jewellery and of course she was helped by the staff members but whilst this was happening the staff continued to lament the fact tourists didn’t speak any French. I stood by not saying a word because I wasn’t bothered and was too busy looking, but my mother needed to convey her want to look at a different charm for a bracelet. When I spoke in what must have been excellent French because to say the…

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A rainy holiday!

Originally posted on Travel Opens the Mind:

Holiday, it’s a word that conjures images of sun, beaches and days lazing by the poolside. Not one of wind, rain and thunderstorms. Unfortunately that’s what I find myself currently faced with and I’m not exactly thrilled with the current situation.

What do you do when your on holidays and the weather is crap? That’s the question I have found myself faced with for the first time in over 15 years. For the last 15 years or so I have gone on holidays with the family to either, France, Spain or Italy and for the majority of the holiday the sun was splitting the sky it was at least 32 degrees Celsius and we were melting. Yet today as I write this I’m sitting in side looking out at a cloudy sky wondering what to do. Now it’s not freezing it’s about 22/23 but it’s not warm enough to go…

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Bad Boys or Good Boys?!?

The dating world nowadays is like an obstacle course and when it comes to me and dating sometimes it can be a mess. I used to go for the bad boys when younger, then as I moved on it went to the guys that have troubles or severe life issues and end up making my life troublesome. The there came a point a year ago I said to myself “you need to start going for the good guys, the ones that have their life straight and will be good for you”. I tried that and failed!! They were either too quiet or too boring or lacked the excitement for life that I had. However I now find myself in a confused situation with a semi bad boy, he has a full time job which is great but he’s not really going far in life (it sounds mean but even my friends agreed with me). He drinks excessively and spends the majority of his weekends smoking weed! I could also never ever introduce him to my parents. He’s probably not the sort of person I ever saw myself with but I have come to realise because he should technically be forbidden I find myself wanting him more. Despite not being overly into him at the start, I then was quite into him but now after seeing him last night I’m finding myself reverting to the old not so into him but he can be fun from time to time!

While I was confused over what I wanted with him I was trawling advice websites and came across one and signed up for emails etc and I got this little email in my inbox that really opened my eyes and I totally agreed with what he was saying.  

 

Eric Charles here and I want to talk about the biggest mistake women make in relationships, the one thing that I see over and over again that can basically screw you up from the start. 

 

The other day, I was talking to a female friend who was feeling anxious and panicked over this new guy she started seeing. Things basically started out great and then he went out of the country for a few days and she hadn’t heard from him since he returned. 

 

She came to me desperate to understand what was happening, saying he was so into her in the beginning and she couldn’t understand why he would just drop off like this. Like most of the readers who come to me with their relationship questions, she wanted to know exactly what was going on in his head and what she could do to fix it. 

 

The problem is….you can’t ever know. She was plotting and strategizing ways to control something that could never be in her control… ever. 

 

Most women screw themselves over because they look at the guy’s behavior in a specific instance and freak out about it. They then give off a bad vibe which spreads to him (even if you don’t realize it) and it derails everything. 

 

Let me ask you, what good has ever come from worrying and stressing about a relationship? None! 

 

A much better strategy is to approach a new situation with the attitude of “I’m having fun and we’ll see where this goes” and just take it as it comes. And you need to not care. I know it’s hard, but the caring is what’s messing you up. It’s causing you to stress and get overly invested. 

 

When you don’t know how he feels about you, that’s exactly the best time not to care. When you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how he feels about you… then care all you want

 

Worrying or wondering or caring about whether or not you’re on the same page doesn’t help… it’s only going to lead you to a bad place. 

 

Instead of investing time into the worrying, invest time into focusing on how destructive the caring is. 

 

Here’s something you need to realize. There is no satisfaction to be gained from playing emotional detective. 

So why do we do it? It’s because our minds convince us that there is some sort of pay-off for this obsessive thinking, that maybe once we find the solution we’ll feel better and it will all make sense. 

 

It doesn’t work like that, you can never know what is going on in someone else’s head and how they’re feeling. 

 

My friend did what most people do, she projected the way she was feeling onto the guy. While he was away, she thought about him constantly and was really excited for him to return.

 

Since the anticipation was building for her, she assumed he would reach out the second his plane landed. 

However, his process could have been completely different. He could have been busy dealing with whatever he needed to deal with and wasn’t thinking about the relationship because there was no time (and also no point since they wouldn’t be able to pick things back up until he returned).

 

You have to break the habit of thinking you have any idea what he feels. You don’t, and you won’t. If you’re seeing a guy and then he begins to fade away or vanish, you need to realize there was nothing more you could have done. 

 

Instead of worrying and analyzing, journal about your feelings and what leads you to this place of panic and desperation. Focus specifically on what thoughts, ideas and perspectives lead you to feeling like you’re walking on eggshells or worried about things falling apart or changing and try to trace these thoughts back to their root. 

 

Oftentimes when women come to me with their relationship questions, they’re looking for some magical key that will unlock the door to understanding. And that just will never happen. 

 

Actively journalling and tracing back the thoughts is that “key” and will help you identify negative patterns that may be blocking you from getting you the relationship you want. 

 

Hope that helps, 

eric charles 

P.S.  I’m not sure if you saw my most recent article, but if you didn’t you should definitely check it out to learn a simple but powerful truth about male psychology that will help you understand him and reach his heart more easily.

 

See it here – “Ask a Guy: Do Guys Really Love The Chase?”

 

=> www.anewmode.com/do-guys-love-the-chase/

Trying to find my thing

Lots of my friends have found their “thing” and by thing I mean calling in life, they know where they are going what they are doing and are happy. Its coming up on a year since I finished my Masters in American History and while taking a Gap year has been great working in retail has shown me what I hate in life. There is still this lacking in my life, I haven’t found my “thing” yet.

For the past few months I’ve been toying with different career paths ranging from teaching to working in social media, while all were interesting and teaching the most doable because of my education background doing a Hdipp or a PHD seemed like the obvious course. Friends and family had noticed that I had bee getting increasingly frustrated with work and life in general as I felt as if I was in a rut and giving nowhere fast.

But then the best advice came from where it usually does my dad, I definitely don’t give him enough credit for how he has helped me. Only particularly gloomy day at home, it was my day off and I was too third or sad to move much when he pointed out that travel was my thing. He reminded me I had been mad into adventures and travel since I was nine years old and we went on our first big family holiday to France and in particular Disneyland Paris. He continued to highlight the sparkle that appears in my eyes whenever I’m talking about holidays or travel be it in the past or future. When I mentioned this to my friends they immediately confirmed my dad’s advice that my “thing” is most definitely travel, I never stop talking about my latest plans or where I’ve just come back from. After this relegation I took some time to mull what friends and family had said about me and my love for travel. Subsequently I realised I’m obsessed with it, it’s all I think of and hope for. I have always said that sitting in an office 9-5 was never an option for me so the complete opposite should definitely be the perfect fit to keep me happy and amused. The thought of adventure and experiencing new cultures and ways of life have me completely thrilled beyond belief.

But now I have to figure out how to turn my clear passion for travel into a career and a life that I can enjoy to the fullest.

Hoe’s before Bro’s

I’ve recently experienced a classic case of putting girlfriends before boys.

A good friend of mine moved to Australia last night and wanted to have a last dinner thing, I completely blanked on it thinking it was next week. In the meantime I had half made plans to meet up with this guy I had met for drinks, nothing concrete just an idea.

On the day of the dinner/drinks I got a text from a friend reminding me to bring desert to the dinner, I realised my mistake and obviously wanted to see my friend who was moving as I didn’t know when I would see her again. I texted the guy in question at least 7 hours before we were meant to meet up apologising for the mistake and I attempted to reschedule for another night later in the week. To say he was rude and ignorant is an understatement. He blamed me for not being up to date on whats going on in my life and to plan things better. I understood that he might be a bit upset about me postponing but its one of my close friends, I know her for years whereas I know him for about two seconds she clearly comes before him. To add to that he then revealed that he likes going out constantly like a few times a week and doesn’t like the whole texting back and forth to get to know someone! i felt like screaming its FUCKING 2014 I don’t have time to be seeing you 3 and 4 times a week I have work, I have friends, I have a life!!!

 

We have now rescheduled but to be honest I’m not sure if I like him anymore due to his horrible attitude. Already he seems to be doing things to suit him only not making it equal and giving out that certain things or times don’t suit him despite me making several suggestions. 

 

I have never experienced a case like this, usually in this period the guy is beyond understanding and wanting to make sure your happy and you don’t back out but I’m seriously unsure and unhappy with this guy now because I have a fairly hectic life my friends know that and have always been understanding but if this guy is a stickler for setting things in stone I’m not sure how well this is going to go…..

One Direction Mania

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past few years you’ve heard of One Direction or 1D as they are known by their fan base otherwise known as Directioners.
Recently they stopped off in Croke Park, Dublin. Which was also the hometown gig for Niall Horan who hadn’t been home since Christmas due to the crazy work schedule.

I was chaperoning my younger sister who is obsessed with 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction, I wasn’t prepared to enjoy it as much as I did. I grew up on Blink 182, Nirvana and Guns n’ Roses, I had been extremely scepticle about attending this concert.

Upon arrival we were met by thousands upon thousands of screaming girls and women in general. Overall I was hoping not to enjoy myself but I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed the show. Despite only knowing approximately 3 or 4 songs the show was something else, it was the first big stadium concert I had ever been too usually opting for more intimate indie gigs.

The show went off without a hitch, complete with fireworks, another stage coming out from the ground, dazzling lasers and a stage that looked like a playground. While I haven’t been converted to a directioner just yet, I will give them props for the amazing show they put on, as for their diehard fans it was definitely a show they wont forget for a long time. 20140527-115928.jpg20140527-115948.jpg20140527-115956.jpg20140527-120011.jpg20140527-120022.jpg

Tonsillitis Blues

It’s a beautiful summers day, sun is splitting the sky and I’m stuck in bed because I’ve got tonsillitis! I mean come in who gets tonsillitis in summer for fuck sake. It’s just my luck, I had an epic weekend planned and that’s all been pushed a side for medication, liquids and sleep. So not impressed!

Nothing like it

There is nothing like standing on HILL16 during a Dublin GAA match. The atmosphere, the pride and the sheer exhilaration has yet to be matched. Or well its my opinion that it cannot be matched. I’ve done a lot of crazy things in my life and while they have been exciting and sometimes life changing but yet the atmosphere has yet to match that which can be found on Hill16!

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I thought I was a strong independent woman…. I was WRONG

So if anyone has looked at previous posts, I dated a dick a downright dick and recently I had been doing well, I am over him. I now find him revolting and can’t be in close proximity without feeling sick.

So anyway I decided to branch out into the world of men again and I entered with with renewed vigour and lust… yes lust!

However after 2 weeks of texting this guy I met, I have realised I am not as independent and strong as I thought I was, after one day of silence from him I have been wondering why, did I do something wrong or if I offended him in some shape or form… So I text him and asked him out for a drink and even though he said yes to it next weekend, I am ashamed I have gotten like this and I am moving back on my quest to be an Independent Woman.

Confusion Central

shellslife89:

My separate travel blog documenting my random adventures!

Originally posted on Travel Opens the Mind:

I’m in the process of booking the longest holidays I’ve been on; I know it will be the most exciting trip I’ve been on in a long time. BUT it is proving to be the hardest and most complex thing I’ve done in a long time. Booking hotels in a foreign continent trying to decipher reviews on Trip Advisor, Booking.com, Trivago and many many more websites but its been impossible to know whether or not its people just bitching because they are annoying and ungrateful or are these reviews true and I should avoid the place!

 

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post I will be visiting Boston MA, Washington DC and New York City. Washington was a relatively easy pick as there was a hotel with nothing but perfect reviews so that was that one sorted. Now Boston and New York have been a different story.  Boston we…

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