Falling for someone you can’t have or be near is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. When I say falling I don’t necessarily mean falling in love, but I meaning falling somewhere in between. Significant feelings of course are involved and it makes the uncertainty hard and at some point unbearable. Its the most unbearable when you have been trying so hard to be together but its the distance that damn physical distance, because when I talk to him, text him or even see him on FaceTime I feel his presence right here with me. It is honestly the strangest feeling to feel so close to someone yet be so far away from them at the same time.
Coming from the internet age, a lot of life is done online, thats how I met him. Possibly my perfect match on Tinder, when we tell people how this came to be they laugh and joke about online dating and how it never works out. But I want to be the exception to this rule, however this is hard when friends continue to get in the way. Not only have I met the perfect match, but this time I don’t have to settle for someone. Everything I want in a partner can be found with him, its so rare and odd for this to happen. Everyone I’ve been with before there’s always been something off about them and I have never felt so entirely happy or content with life like I do now. The positive energy I get from this relationship is something I have never experienced before.
Yet there is always something that gets in our way, either its distance, friends or money. They either impact the time we get together or stop us spending time together. I have always been a believer in if its meant to be will be but sometimes I cant help but think I feel the need to fight hard to hold onto this thing that makes me so undeniably happy with life and everything in it.
Oddly enough we met whilst I was travelling America with my best friend. Just before I left for America I had my heart crushed by a player back home, who led me on and then crushed my heart. This trip was what I needed it opened my mind to a whole new world, I have travelled a lot within Europe but never further then that. America was a whole different ballgame, what happened on my last night in Washington DC has changed my life. It was the night I matched with him and have continued to talk to him everyday since then. Never have I felt led on, games were being played, its perfect but the question remains why should it be so difficult for my friends to be supportive that I am happy with someone for the first time in ALONG time. So here I am going on holidays to somewhere near to my significant other with a friend who appeared to be okay with him visiting for a few days, yet now it has all changed and she feels uncomfortable with his presence.